Meet Jack. Jack Daniels for short.

So, Josh Reese decided to get a child-substitute puppy. And as everyone knows, poor Josh has an uphill battle ahead of him in his constant pursuit to be like Zach Herbert. Anytime you hear Josh say "I hate you Zach," what he's really saying is "I wish I could be more like you, Zach, and I hate that I never will."

Josh went to Med School, Zach went to Law School. Tie.
Josh lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Zach Lives in California. 1 for Zach.
Josh will graduate in 2 years. Zach graduates in less than 1. 1 for Zach
Josh will have to intern for 4-7 years for a teacher's salary. Zach practices after the bar like a real attorney. 1 for Zach
Josh owns a house. Zach rents. 1 for Josh.
Josh will save lives. Zach will litigate lives. 1 for Josh.
Josh owns a pair of chacos. -1 point for Josh.
Josh has a puppy. Zach has two. 1 for Zach.

Zach wins.

Meet Jack. He's a Shih-poo (coolest sounding breed cross name except for bull-dog/shih tzu).